


Maybe, Just Maybe...

by njhft_mgc



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, M/M, Natasha is a badass sassmaster, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony needs a life, he also needs a life, kind of, omg the fluff, stop reading this omg, this is so bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4109116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/njhft_mgc/pseuds/njhft_mgc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remembering wasn't all too hard for Bucky. There's still some things his mind just can never remember, but one thing he remembers is just how much he liked his best friend from 70 years ago.<br/>~~~</p>
<p>or Bucky is a dumb tease and Steve is a smartass who never swears</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe, Just Maybe...

**Author's Note:**

> i was bored a while back and started this, not being serious but then it became serious :) i'm just obsessed with these two, i recently watched aou and when Steve indirectly mentioned Bucky, i shrieked. kay bye read away

It's weird.

Steve couldn't say it was like old times. But it felt like it.

Curled up next to the television, blanket draped over the two as it was nearing almost freezing temperatures. Steve Rogers flipped through the channels, occasionally finding an interesting show but soon changing it as Bucky grunted in disapproval. Steve just laughed, shoving his best friend playfully and saying how they'll never agree on a show and stay there all night, Bucky biting back about how nothing good comes on Mondays.

It was nice, though. No missions, no annoyances, no week long tests, no nothing. Just relaxation in the comfort of their small Brooklyn apartment. There were fireworks being blasted outside, maybe at the free park a couple blocks away. Bucky complained every few blasts, but Steve said it was nicer than gunshots. Bucky couldn't argue.

Steve finally stopped on a channel, it was the global news or whatever. It was always interesting drowning out their hardships by seeing what fucked up shit was happening in another part of the world.

"Does the U.S really want to start World War 3? Invading countries and shit, this isn't the 1800s! We don't invade countries. Jesus.." Bucky complained, gesturing angrily to the t.v screen as a way to emphasise his point. Steve laughed, shaking his head.

"They never learn, do they?" Bucky looked up to his friend and scoffed.

Friends. That's all they were. Sure, pretty much all the Avengers had this bet on when Steve would cave and ask Bucky Barnes out, Steve was fully aware of this bet, but they were just friends. Have been for so long.

Grew up together, Bucky looking out for short weak Steve till well into their adulthood, Steve picking fights he could not fight left and right. But after World War 2, Steve being frozen and waking up 70 years later, thinking Bucky was dead by now. Steve noticed that somewhere along the way of realisation and figuring out Bucky was in fact alive, that he might've been in love with Bucky. His best friend, Bucky. The person who tried to kill him, Bucky. The person who forgot most of his past excluding Steve, Bucky.

But there was no way in hell Bucky loved Steve back. Probably thought of him as a brother. *Wouldn't blame him, really* Steve thought, drapping an arm to rest on the back of the couch, seeing Buck relaxed and mumbling "Thought you'd never offer, Rogers." and scootching closer to the other. *I'm just that kid from downtown who grew up* Steve sighed, wrapping his arm around Bucky's shoulders. He let his fingers drum against the mechanical arm, the cold metal contrasting just how warm the two were under this blanket.

Steve used to always ask Bucky if he wanted to get rid of the arm, have Tony build a new prosthetic, but Bucky always refused.

"As long as my name is James Buchanan Barnes, I am keeping this arm." He would always bite back to Steve, but Steve knew the real reason why he wanted to keep it. It was his sort of twisted reminder of all the shit he had done when he was the Winter Soldier, he still was, according to Fury. Made Bucky sick to his stomach whenever he was reffered to as the cover HYDRA gave him.

But what Bucky did agree on was that they would paint over the star. Well, not really paint over, but they painted it on a lazy Sunday afternoon, Steve remembers it exactly.

~~

_"Can we please just paint over the damn thing, Buck?" Steve pleaded the second Bucky walked through the apartment door. He was sweaty from his work out, noticing how stressed out Steve seemed. It was only 10am, what has his boxers in a bunch?_

_"What?" Was all Bucky responded._

_"I've been pacing all morning, thinking of some way to negotiate this with you. Paint the star."_

_Bucky blinked. Soon, he sighed, stalking past Steve and throwing his workout stuff into his room. He pursed his lips before dropping to the floor, reaching under his bed and pulling out a duffel bag. He lifted it to his shoulder and walked back to the living room._

_Steve gave him a confused look, glancing to the bag and back to Bucky._

_"Okay. I've been waiting for you to say something. Just paint me up, Cap" Bucky snarked back, placing the bag down and seating himself on the floor. He stared at Steve, who was still standing, till a quiet 'oh' left his mouth and he sat as well. They opened the bag and revealed some paintbrushes and red and blue paints, indicated by the coloured tops. Steve blinked, reaching in and picking up a paintbrush, thumb dragging over the bristled tip. He goofily grinned at the other, clearing his throat to not sound too excited._

_"What would you like me to paint, Mr. Barnes?"_

_Bucky giggled (in the most manly way ever) and gave an obvious sort of look._

_"The star on you shield, dumbass. It looks cool, why not get it on my arm?" Steve gave a stoic nod, popping open the paint cans and giving a subtle chuckle._

_"Whatever you say, Buck."_  

~~

Sitting on that couch, a comfortable silence surrounding them, Steve just sighed. It was hard, so fucking hard. Hiding the fact that you're head over heels in love with maybe the last person you should be in love with. Knowing they don't have feelings for you. They probably think of you as a brother.

He could never tell Bucky his feelings. It would ruin whatever they had going right now, and Steve really liked it.

Subtle gestures like couch cuddles or pet names, waking to find Bucky in his boxers making the two breakfast and saying in his still sleep ridden deep voice "G'morning, Cap. Slept well, I hope.", getting to see Bucky in his best times, and his worse times. There would be nights where Buck would wake up screaming, screaming about how he knew Steve wasn't dead and he didn't believe whoever was telling him otherwise, or there would be nights where Bucky just couldn't take it anymore, he would curl up and cry, hugging a pillow close to his chest and murmur to no one about how alone he felt. In those times, he would be drawn back to when he thought Steve was dead, when he really felt alone.

But then Bucky would feel a warm body curl up behind him, their front pressed flush against his back, whispering soft nothings into his ear till he calmed down to a light sniffle.

"S-steve?" He would stutter, and Steve would grunt a groggy 'mhm', and everything would be okay again.

Steve couldn't ruin what they had. Bucky needed him, now especially, so he had to be there for him.

There was light snores coming from next to Steve, who looked down to see maybe the cutest thing ever?

Bucky had his legs tucked up to his chest, leaning his upper body almost completely against Steve's side, hands bunched up against his face, the patterned metal hand leaving a slightly red mark on his cheek. He looked so peaceful asleep, Steve thought. He knew he couldn't wake him, Bucky wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. And he sleeps way more better with Steve, so he just sighed lightly and hiked the blanket up to Bucky's chin,lolling his head to lean against Bucky. Sleep soon took over and even though they were on the lumpy old as fuck couch, it was the best sleep they both had.

~~

It took Steve a bit to wake up, but he soon rose to the sweet smell of Bucky's delicious pancakes, probably with bacon on the side, like usual.

Steve cracked an eye open, staring around the light filled room, sunrays spilling through the shades, Steve groaning and standing up from the couch, back cracking with the steps he took. He turned the stick that opened the blinds and smiled as the morning sun lit up the whole room.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Bucky said as Steve walked into the kitchen, resting his head on Bucky's shoulder from behind, watching him making eggs and bacon strips, pancakes already stacked high on a porcelain plate. Tuesdays were always the best. Bucky was home pretty much all day, and even if Cap had something to do at 'work', he knew he'd come back to Buck, alive and pretty well. It was something Steve couldn't get used to.

Was it real? Bucky was actually alive? And with him? Not a dream, right? Well, the piece of fluffy buttermilk pancake being held up to Steve's lips by a certain someone really debunked those thoughts.

"Try some, Rogers. It's always been your favourite." Bucky murmured, staring into Steve's crystal blue eyes. Steve grinned, eating the pancake eagerly and moaning at the taste. This caused Bucky to ever so slightly blush (super manly, manliest blush ever), biting down on his lip and looking forward. Steve raised an eyebrow, wondering.

"Something the matter, Buck?"

"Nope, nah, nooo, not at all, Steven. Why do you ask?" Bucky cursed to himself, pressing his torso more against the counter as he turned off the stove. Steve mumbled a response back, not feeling up to arguing about how he saw Bucky get flustered. Sometimes Steve does stuff to push Bucky off an edge, the border between friends and something more. See how far he can push before crossing the line. He lazily dropped his arms down, wrapping them around Bucky's waist and pulling him right against him. Bucky grunted, biting back about how he couldn't breathe.

"For fucks sake, Steve. I will roundhouse kick your ass to Timbuktu if you don't let me go. All your jiggly parts are touching my no no places." Steve roared a loud laugh, just hugging Buck tighter, making sure not to hurt him.

"I can't hug my best friend? How rude? And hey, I've seen your 'no no parts' plenty of times, James."

Bucky finally relaxed in the tight embrace, laughing along with Steve and nodding.

"There was that one year, 1936. New Years Day, or should I say night. We were shitfaced drunk. We went back to yours and stripped down, claiming it was boiling hot in December. Your mom walked in on us like wrestling and thought we were having sex, it was so funny!" Bucky chimed, twisting his head to smile up at Steve. Steve chuckled, remembering that year pretty well, though it was 73 years ago.

"To be fair, we were drunk as heck and I think you jerked me off at some point."

"Nu-uh, you started that. I returned the favour."

"Now what did I do?"

"You really don't remember? Jesus, I remember it so well, I'm still going to hell for it. Let us just say....You've got a mean pair of pipes, Mr. Rogers."

Steve wondered for a minute, but soon gasped.

"Did I really..?"

"Yeah, man. Best. Blowjob. Ever. I fucking swear to god."

"Watch your mouth, James!" Steve scolded, earning Bucky to spin around in their still embrace and place his hands and Steve's shoulders.

"I'll watch my mouth...travel down that hunk body of yours till I reach that treasure trail you got going on and-"

Bucky's dirty rambles were interrupted by Steve's phone going crazy. He quickly backed away, inhaling to try and calm whatever arousal Bucky had stirred in him and answered his comm.

"Hello?"

"Cap, need ya here, pronto. Leave the boyfie at home, sweetcakes." Natasha said, obvious yelling in the background.

"I don't have a boyfie or whatever, I'll be right there."

~~

Steve was saved. If he allowed Bucky to say anything else, who knew how long it would be till Steve snapped.

But...what if Nat didn't call? Would something had happened? Its not like it'd be their first time, it seems. But Steve hardly remembers that part of the evening, really. Drunk sex isn't something Steve would love to remember. Who knows how far they really got, Bucky would never say anything. He'd say it was just a drunk mistake and probably would never happen again.

_I can't scare him away, god dammit.._

~~

Evening rolled around, Steve was finally getting home, exhausted from the day and just wanting to curl up in bed and..

"Bucky, you awake?" Steve called into the dark house, tossing his keys on the kitchen counter and kicking his shoes off. No response, so Steve checked the time real quick and furrowed his brows in confusion.

"It's only 7, Buck. I know you're awake." Steve once again said into the quiet atmosphere, stalking down the hallway and into his room.

But to his surprise, there Bucky was, sitting up in the bed with the pillow to his face. Steve raised a brow, slowly approaching the bed.

"Bucky, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? Panic attack?" Steve's voice was laced with concern, the blonde sitting near where Bucky sat, shaking in his skin.

He lifted his face ever so slightly, glancing to the other with glassy eyes, nose red. He shook his head before retreating back to the pillow, letting a few shaky breaths out. Steve bit his lip, shifting closer to his friend and bringing him flush against his chest.

Bucky was tense for a moment, once again lifting his head up and staring at the buff hugging him.

"You don't have to tell me what happened but I just want you to know that I am here for you. Through everything. Every morning I wake up and immediately start wondering if you'll be there, healthy and happy. Seeing you like this breaks my heart in two, but I know to make sure you're going to be okay.

God, Bucky... I'm such a goner if you don't understand by now. I love you and will always love you."

Listening to Steve go on about him calmed Bucky down, but when he heard the words I love you' spill from the nervous man, his heart sped.

"Do you...really?"

"Pssh, no. That was just me talking about another sarcastic, witty,beyond dumb Bucky Barnes who just happens to also be my best friend."

Bucky scoffed, grabbing the back of Steve's head lightly, resting his forehead on the other's.

"Fuck you, Rogers.. I love you, too."

~~~

 

"You're in way too deep Rogers." 

 

Steve looked up from the tablet he was scrolling through getting the quick debrief of a mission set for today, staring in confusion to Natasha's statement.. He had also just gotten off the phone with a sorta sick Bucky.

 

"I'm fineeee, Steeb. Dun worry, do your mi-th-ion." Bucky said, nose stuffed and bed ridden. Steve was a chuckling mess the whole time, finding it adorable and just irresistible.

 

"What do you mean, Nat?"

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, pulling a face before mimicking a brief example of how lovey-dovey and sappy they sounded. Steve just rolled his eyes, brushing her off and trying to bring his focus back onto the mission. But his mind was either on what Natasha said or if Bucky was sleeping, or eating, or maybe he didn't listen to Steve and went for his morning work out session.

 

It was always different with Bucky. Steve would tell him to do one thing and he would probably do the other.

 

Steve decided to call Buck once more before the crew went on the mission, knowing a mission like this will take a couple days. Maybe weeks. It made his stomach churn, being away from James for so long. He was worried. No, beyond worried. He was seriously concerned and stressed. Bucky wasn't used to being alone for so long.

 

"Hey, Buck? How are you doing?" Steve asked as he heard the phone being picked up.

 

There was some sniffling and a cough before an answer. "Everything is a-okay! Don't worry about me, Stevie. Just do well on that mission. Come back soon?"

 

Steve smiled at small tinge of doubt in Bucky's voice at the end. 

 

"Depends. What's your definition of 'soon'?"

 

"Uhh...Don't be gone for like a year. All's good before that.." Bucky laughed a little on the other end, soon coughing and groaning.

 

"Hey, rest and drink lots of fluids. I know this cold will be gone soon, but I need you to rest so you don't get worst..

 

And sure, sure. I'll be back in a couple days, I hope. Nothing more than 2 weeks."

 

Bucky laughed again, lighter this time. There was a pause, Steve was guessing Bucky was getting water from the shuffling and rushing noises in the background. After his assumption was proved right with a gulping, Bucky groaned something out about being too weak to get to the bed and how he'd have to crawl there and Steve laughed, noticing the other Avengers were boarding the helicarrier and followed suit.

 

"Crash on the couch, I left some pillows there from last night, feel free to rest there. Or my bed, closer than yours."

 

"Whatever, Rogers...Don't worry about me, worry about yourself. And, hey, Steve?"

 

"Yeah?" Steve answered, strapping himself next to Nat, who gave him a smug look and made some kissy noises. Steve rolled his eyes, trying to focus on what Bucky was trying to say.

 

"I...geez, my nose is so fucking stuffy...oh, shit. Uh..I love you, Steve. Be careful and come back in one piece. I can hear Natasha making noises!" Bucky yelled the last part, loud enough for Natasha to hear and burst out laughing.

 

"I love you too, Buck. Can't make any promises." He knew Bucky smiled because he made that satisfied hum and cleared his throat.

 

They hung up after their last goodbyes and Nat whistled.

 

"Here's the real question. Have you fucked yet?" Steve raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips as he thought. They haven't really had sex. They've done things, sure. But nothing...more?

 

"Yeah? No? I don't really know..what counts?"

 

"Well, you know how sex works, yeah?"

 

"Sure, why not."

 

Natasha cracked a smile. "Well, it has to feel right first. Everything's consensual and you understand what the other wants. And penises, sure."

 

It was Steve's turn to smile. "Then sure."

 

~~~

 

_So, Steve's back today. I should cook him dinner... But he might be too tired from it... But wait, Steve is Steve, food is what he lives on. But what the fuck will I make._

 

Bucky stood in the middle of the kitchen, metal fingers tapping the counter slowly. He glanced at the clock.

 

"3 hours...that gives me time. Maybe I'll bake something, that's always easier. A cake? Cookies?"

 

A way to calm himself down was to talk about something useless.

 

"In Spanish, cookies is galletas. And in Russian, it's something I can't pronounce. But in German, it's Kekse. German always sounds like you're swearing, pretty cool." He spoke, pulling out ingredients from the pantries for chocolate chip cookies.

 

"Schokochip Kekse. Sounds like a place." Quickly putting together the batter, he continued to speak nonsense.

 

"It's weird how even though I can now openly say I love Steve, and he loves me back too, we still act the exact same. Oh, I'm getting some memories back, for some strange reason. There was this one time, Steve and I were like 12, and I had just came back from the corner shop with like some free stale ass crackers because the owner felt nice. And I met up with Steve half way to his, all glum 'n shit." As Bucky remembered, he started to slip into his old accent, thick and rich Brooklyn. He was putting the cookies in the oven while still speaking to himself.

 

"I asked what's happening and he just told me he got back from church. Which was never all that fun, really thought it was dumb. But my pa always went, as I think I remember." Bucky spoke to himself for much longer than he thought, but he felt much less stressed. He'd been stressing for a while, Steve having been gone for a few weeks. So, Bucky has been remembering things past his 20's for once, things from when he was a small kid.

 

It made him uncomfortable, but nostalgic. Was he really the same person? Not at all. He wished and prayed that he could be the easy going, smooth, silly and witty James Barnes from back then. But now he's just a paranoid tin guy who's only stress relievers are his boyfriend and talking to himself.

 

"Maybe this is insanity and no one is telling me. Or maybe it's just me bein' weird, I dunno."

 

 

There were a couple knocks on the door after another hour, Bucky springing up from the couch and jogging to the door. He swung it open, grinning at Steve.

 

Steve looked wasted, not off booze. But just tired. He still hugged Bucky with all his might the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, dropping his bag who knows where. They shared a passionate kiss, followed by sweet smiles between and charge ending kisses.

 

"God, I've missed you so fucking much, Steve." Bucky muttered breathlessly, hands situated on either side of Cap's head. Steve smiled widely, hands hooking under Bucky's thighs and lightly pushing him against the closest wall.

 

"I've missed you too. I think if I stayed longer, Nat would've killed me since I only ever talked about you. Something smells nice.." Steve sniffed around, Bucky still leaning his back against the wall. It wasn't uncomfortable, but he really wanted to move to the couch or the bed, his back does tolls on him. 

 

"Made you some cookies, Cap. Been away for a month, least I could do was finally clean up and make something useful of myself." Steve laughed at this, shaking his head and pecking Bucky's lips again.

 

"You're usually useful, babe." Bucky cringed at the pet name, playfully nipping at Steve's neck, teasing him ever so lightly before planting his feet firmly on the ground, walking off to get the cookies and just to annoy his boyfriend a bit.

 

Boyfriend.

 

Wow. Who would've thought.

 

"Don't leave a guy like that." Steve jokingly grumbled as he followed behind James, meeting him halfway to the kitchen. Bucky smiled and offered a cookie to the other, snatching one off the plate. They both took a bite and Steve practically moaned at the decadent taste. It was perfection, just like Bucky, really.

 

"That tastes...just wonderful and ugh, I almost forgot how good you were with a stove, Buck."

 

Bucky chuckled and shook his head, finishing his cookie off and walking into the living room with Steven, placing the plate on the table and flopping onto the couch. They snuggled into each other in a matter of seconds of sitting, both grinning.

 

"Nahh, it's my Ma's recipe, that's why you still like it. Used to bring it 'round to your place every, what, two weeks? Whenever my ma was up for putting up with my dumb ass in the kitchen."

 

Steve blinked, wrapping an arm around Bucky's slim waist. "You helped your ma bake the cookies?"  
  


"Yeah, every single fucking time, man! She'd say she could handle it but, sure, I wanted to help my ma, she was pretty old." Bucky snickered to himself. "But I also knew I'd be giving them out to one of the finest pieces of men in the neighbourhood, so I needed to help."

 

Steve chuckled and groaned. "Aren't you a sap? They were, and still are, perfect cookies."

 

Bucky smiled slightly and rested his head on Steve's broad shoulder. "Guess so, but you know what else is perfect?"

 

"What?"  
  
Bucky smirked and leaned up, whispering, "You.." in Steve's ear, which cause him to flush lightly and let out a soft moan as Bucky nibbled on his earlobe.

 

Steve could admit, he was so fucking happy with where he and Bucky were in their relationship. Tony called it the "honeymoon" stage, but Steve had a pretty big feeling that it wouldn't change much. Maybe they'd get more comfortable, when Bucky finally fully adjusted to the new time, Steve guiding him along. It was like they were still just friends, but...

 

In a good way.

 

Nat said it might hinder their relationship more down the line, like if they wanted to get married or something like that, but really. Steve knew how much he and Bucky had been through. He watched his best friend fall to his presumed death, just to find out he wasn't dead and wanted to kill him for a little while. Sure, Buck has his up days and down days, but Steve knew how to handle them and make Bucky fell..okay.

_"Maybe, just maybe, this is what it's supposed to be like.."_


End file.
